Peter Pan 2: The Reckoning
by Master Dark Capn
Summary: Peter Pan needs to rescue Wendy. This story happens after the movie, and it is also edgier and more realistic than the movie, and may contain some swearing. Reader discretion is advised.
1. Chapter 1: What happens first

**Peter Pan 2: The Reckoning**

Author's Note: This is a sequel to the movie. There are some differences that I think they're pretty minor, but just consider that the movie got it wrong, not me. Please support the official release of Peter Pan, copyright of Disney Movies.

**Chapter 1: What happened first**

Peter Pan was sitting in his house playing a game with his hands. It was Rock, Paper, Scissors. He was also playing against Wendy and he was winning because Tinkerbell was helping him cheat by saying what move she was going to play. Then, all of a sudden, he lost because Tinkerbell decided cheating was bad.

"What's wrong, Tink?" he asked Tink, confident that the answer was something. She didn't respond in words but she made a dinging noise instead. That's how she talks. Luckily he could understand her, so she told him why she stopped cheating. Wendy didn't know how to understand her so she didn't know that Peter was cheating and also that Tinkerbell was cheating even though she wasn't anymore.

They were all so distracted that they didn't notice Captain Hook sneak in and then he kidnapped Wendy when they weren't looking. Nobody found out until Peter tried to keep playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and he didn't have an opponent. "Aww, shit," thought Peter thoughtfully, "Now I'm gonna have to rescue Wendy." Then out loud he said "Tink, ya wanna help? We're gonna rescue Wendy!"

Tinkerbell did that thing where she puts her hands on her hips, and stuck out her tongue. She obviously didn't want to help. It was a secret to everyone that she had a private crush on Peter Pan, therefore Wendy was the competition. Tinkerbell was selfish enough so that she didn't care if Wendy died. It's a good thing Wendy doesn't die in this story.

Later that day, Peter finished gathering all the lost boys together for an important meeting. "It has come to my attention that Captain Hook has kidnapped Wendy. He is a son of a bitch."

"Oh no," said most of them.

"Also, I forgot that he left a note behind. Here it is."

It turned out that the note said:

_Dear Peter Pan:_

_I stole Wendy from your house. If you do not agree to my demands, you won't get her back and I will feed her to the alligator. Then we will see who is the better person._

_I require a ransom of $1 million dollars in unmarked bills. You can leave it at the mermaid pool. If you ever want to see her again you better need to do this, or else. Come alone._

_Sincerely,_

_Capt. James Tiberius Hook, Esq._

_P.S. Thanks_

That's why Peter read it, and then he read it to the lost boys. "We can't afford that, because kids don't have jobs or money" responded Peter Pan. None of the lost boys were democrats so they didn't say "yes we can," but one of them, I guess maybe Nibs, said a question that went "What if we just save her without the money?"

Peter was shocked by that suggestion, because it didn't occur to any of them, not even him (except the one who thought of it, obviously). But he was so shocked that he decided it was the right idea to do, so he said they were gonna do that. "Fuck yeah," he said, "Good job, Nibs. We can have a secret spy rescue mission! We don't need any silly gadgets!"

_Author's note: They don't have fancy cars and spy goggles in Never Land, the only technology is pirate technology like binoculars and swords and compasses because sometimes they get them from Captain Hook and Mr. Smee, no digital watches with poison gas or anything._

Since Tinkerbell wasn't helping, the lost boys couldn't fly, so they had to walk. Fortunately, they didn't have to walk because they had a boat with wheels. It was attached with pedals on it so they all rode it like a bike, except Peter because he was flying, and Wendy because she wasn't there. That worked awfully well and they didn't have to get tired like they would when walking. Walking is hard if you have to go all the way to the mermaid pool.

So onward and farther they pressed until they got to about a hundred yards away from the mermaid pool. Then they hid next to some trees and behind a rock. This was so that they would not be seen. Peter used a periscope (_it's basically just binoculars and mirrors, both of which pirates have, so it can be in this story, okay!?_) to see over the rock he was behind to see the pirates, and the pirates couldn't see him back unless they looked really close. But there was a tree in the way, so he had to move to the side a little bit...

_Author's note: To be continued_


	2. Chapter 2: Beginnings

**Chapter 2: Beginnings**

"I do not like that Peter Pan!" screamed Captain Hook from about two-thirds of the way to the top of his lungs. He wasn't someone who had a good reason for the things he did. Mostly he just battled Peter for its own sake, and mostly he just lost. He remembered himself back to a time when he actually plundered and did other pirate things. But ever since Peter Pan showed up in Never Land, he hadn't been able to do that because Peter got in his way.

But the worst part was how happy Peter was. Captain Hook didn't really have any happy thoughts left anymore. He was a grownup, and piracy was a job that didn't really pay the bills. He wished he was happy and figured that low morale was responsible for his recent string of failures. "Maybe if I be happy," he thought, "I'd be motivated to learn the secret to flying, and if I could fly I could BEAT PETER PAN! That'd make me happy."

His logic was circular. He didn't notice, because he was the bad guy and kinda stupid.

That's when Mr. Smee came in.

_Author's note: Mr. Smee is an important part of the Peter Pan universe so I thought it would be a bad idea to leave him out. That's why I put him in the story, but he doesn't do much._

"Smee!" shouted Captain Hook from an even higher part of his lungs than before, probably four-fifths of the way to the top of his lungs. His wig fell off because he was so loud.

"Yes, Cap'n!" said Smee with more confidence than he really had, because he was faking it. Then he also picked up Captain Hook's wig off the floor. He had just swept and mopped that morning, so it didn't have dust all over it when he handed his wig back to him.

"I want two things," began Hook. "First, I want a shave. My stubble is getting itchy."

"Alright, Cap'n. Shall I shave off the mustache, or just trim around it?"

Captain Hook's cheeks blushed a deep red with furiosity, but he kept his voice calm as he instructed "When have I ever wanted to get rid of my pristine mustache? Just shave around it, you useless pile of indentured servitude."

"Yes, Cap'n," Smee said again for the second time.

"Besides, second, at the same time as while you're giving me a shave, we will come up with a plan to win against Peter Pan once and for all! I have a good idea for how to do it and we have to kidnap Wendy."

Then he got his shave and came up with a plan. While he was being shaved, he put his wig on a mannequin head on a table next to the chair where he was sitting. That was a special place to put it so that it wouldn't accidentally get cut. It was important that the hair not get cut because it was a wig and wigs don't grow back, even if the wigs made from real hair, because they're not connected to hair follicles anymore. It's like how if you clip fingernails you can't use them in place of fake nails to make real ones that grow.

There also wasn't dust on the mannequin head.

While they were discussing the details, they decided on what eventually happened in the first chapter where they kidnapped Wendy. Then they flew Captain Hook's boat next to Peter Pan's house and parked it, they were a little bit more far away than they wanted to because there were a lot of trees in the way and the Jolly Roger is too big to fit there.

_Author's Note: The movie left this part out, but the Jolly Roger can fly because there's a smiley face on a painting inside it. That's the closest that a pirate ship can get to thinking happy thoughts. It also has pixie dust, but I think the movie didn't forget that part._

They all disembarked their way out of the Jolly Roger. Each of the pirates went to different sides, but there were a lot of them and Peter Pan's house only had four sides, so some of them shared sides. It was kinda like a SWAT team mission, except that they were the bad guys, and they didn't break through any windows. Actually one of them just went in through the backdoor. That one of them was Captain Hook himself; the others would only get involved if he did the secret signal to call for backup.

When he got inside into the house, he saw Peter and Wendy were waving their hands around. But when he looked closer he saw that he actually saw wrong the first time, because they were playing Rock, Paper, Scissors. Hook wasn't a fan of that game, because it involved too much luck and he had bad luck. Trying to win at Rock Paper Scissors was, for him, like a U.S. Navy Seal trying to win a weakest man competition against a little kid: he would lose, but he was still better because seals are strong and kids are weak. Captain Hook was also not a kid and he doesn't like them.

_Author's Note: Captain Hook *really* does not like kids. I want you to stop reading for a minute and think about that. It's important._

Between rounds he snuck up on Wendy and kidnapped her. Peter Pan and Tinkerbell weren't paying attention so that was his chance and they didn't notice him. Using both of his hands, he put his left hand over her mouth so she could not scream even though she really wanted to, and he right hand over her torso to pick her up by. It was at about this time that he wished he had tape so he could carry her with both hands. He forgot to leave a note, but it was okay since he wrote it earlier (_I forgot to write that part, but it happened while they were driving over here_) and it was in his pocket anyway, so it just fell out on the floor, just like if he left it there on purpose.

Once he was on his way out the door, Peter started paying attention again but it was too late. Smee asked "Shall we prepare the brig for the priz'ner, Cap'n?*" (_See footnote)_

"Nay, Mr. Smee," replied Hook in a voice that actually was confident because he didn't need to fake it. "You don't need to worry about prisoners escaping when you have..."

_Author's Note: If this was a movie, there would be a close-up on Hook's face right now. He says this part really dramatic. _

"...A flying boat.**"

_Author's Note: To be continued._

_*Author's footnote: A brig is like a jail cell in a ship. The Jolly Roger has one._

_**Author's footnote: Wendy doesn't have any pixie dust because Tinkerbell is a bitch. If she tried to escape her way out of the ship, she would fall and probably get hurt really bad or even die, depending on how high in the sky it is._


	3. Chapter 3: Origins

**Chapter 3: Origins**

Peter Pan looked all the way through his periscope (_he still had it from the end of Chapter 1_) and saw someone. It was a girl. He thought it was Wendy but he kept looking and saw that it wasn't, so he didn't think it was anymore. Then he saw even more girls.

"Aha!" he whispered quietly in case there were pirates. "These girls are mermaids! I know why they are here: because it's the mermaid pool and they live here! I should have thought of that sooner." He kept looking around but didn't see Wendy and didn't see pirates. But he did see one girl who he didn't recognize. She wasn't a mermaid and she had some beard stubble, and a pretty pink and red horizontal striped dress that nicely complemented her large, muscular physique. "I don't know who she is," he thought, "but I should introduce myself.

_Author's note: she's actually a pirate in disguise. I don't know the names of the pirates except Hook and Smee, in fact I don't think they even had any in the movie, so we'll call him Wayne._

"Hi, I'm Peter Pan. Who the hell are you?" he introduced himself suavely after he finished walking up to the new girl whose name he didn't know.

"My name is Way-," he paused. "Uh, Wendy," finished the stranger in a gravelly, deep voice that would have reminded Peter Pan of cigarettes if he knew what cigarettes were. They don't have cigarettes in Never Land, though, only pipes, and Peter doesn't even smoke one.

"You don't look like Wendy," said Peter. "She wears a blue dress, and yours is pink."

"Teehee," said the pirate-Wendy. "I accidentally fell in the mermaid pool and the magic of it turned my dress pink."

"Damn, that was a bluetiful dress, and it is a crying shame to see it change colors. But okay. How did you escape from the pirates anyway?" asked Peter.

"There's no time to explain," and then he said "We need to go after them. They went to the Indians' hideout where the Indians live. Let's follow them there to where they went!"

Therefore, Peter and the person who he thought was Wendy but she wasn't really Wendy went together to the Indian hideout in Never-India. It wasn't all that far away from where they already were, except it was all the way across to the other side of Neverland, it's a good thing Neverland is pretty small.

_Author's Note: I had to look at a map for this part, but the Indians and the mermaids are definitely on opposite sides of the map. Referencing maps is really a lot like Lord of the Rings, isn't it, which makes me as good a writer as J.R.R. Tolkien._

Along the way, they passed right by Peter Pan's house. They decided that they needed to be super-stealthy, so most of the lost boys stayed behind, because having too many people makes it too obvious that you're coming.

_Author's Note: This is also like Lord of the Rings, because Sauron saw Aragorn and his army coming, but he didn't see Frodo sneaking in._

Most of the lost boys decided to go to bed, where they slept, because it was past their bedtime. The fake Wendy had to pretend to be the real Wendy, and that meant telling bedtime stories. So s/he told one, and it went like this:

Once upon a time, there were two little boys named John and Michael. They were brothers, they were best friends. They had a dog named Nana. They lived in the nursery. Their dad was a jerk who didn't believe in fun things. Then one day he went to work. While he was gone, John and Michael were playing with crayons. They drew all over the walls, and all over their clothes, and all over everything. When their dad got home, he didn't get mad because he was a pirate, and pirates like mean things, and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

The lost boys fell asleep pretty well after hearing the story, but Peter Pan thought it was a weird story. "What the hell was that, Wendy?" he wished he said, but he only thought it in his mind. "You didn't give any reason to care about the characters, and you ended the story with a deus ex machina! You can do better than this." But he didn't say it because he didn't want her to get mad. Also it was a bad story because pirates aren't good at making up stories. But instead, Peter just gave him the raised eyebrow look and moved on.

"We need to get going, as quick as possible! We've wasted enough time with the little bilge-rats!" shouted Wayne the pirate who was in disguise as Wendy. And then he dashed toward the front door.

"Patience, Wendy. Patience," responded Peter. "We are obviously less than ready." Waynedy looked surprised, as Peter continued, "Remember the new law the Indians passed? They won't let us in unless we offer a tribute. We need to get something to bring with us."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that because…" but he didn't finish his sentence because it would have ruined his disguised.

"Because what?" asked Peter, questioningly.

"I forgot what I was gonna say. Let's be makin' a tribute!" and they made a tribute out of some feathers and a rock they found outside. The rock was circle shaped and it was a head. The feathers were like bunny ears. They drew eyes and a mouth on it with a sharpie.

"Perfect! It's so beautiful I could kiss it! Now let's get going!" shouted Peter as quietly as he could while still shouting, because he didn't want to wake up the lost boys. Luckily, he didn't, so they got going toward Never-India. Little did he know he was being led into a trap.

Also, Tinkerbell was still at the house, watching quietly. She could tell the pirate wasn't Wendy, but she was still being a little bitch so she still didn't want to help.

_Author's Note: To be continued._


End file.
